Building Better Marriages (September 2009)
Over the years I have spoken to many men on a variety of issues that have plagued them throughout their lives. They genuinely want to be set free from the things that drag them down, but freedom seems to be nothing more than a nice promise that is put before them but is forever out of their reach. A friend of mine has written a song about this and I believe it captures the feelings of many men quite poignantly. The song is called, “The man I ought to be” and it goes like this:
Years go by, pain it fades,
All the pictures fade to grey,
The ones that died when I believed.
I read the Word, the spoken praise,
And the colours come again, and lighten up the page.
They say time, oh, that it heals the wounds
But here I am, slave to the scars I’m clinging to.
So here I stand under the weight of it all
My old life’s chained me down
‘til I can hardly stand at all
Lord hear my cry from a broken heart
Lord help me to be free
And drop the chains that I have made
And be the man I ought to be.
The song speaks to us because it is written out of deep personal experience and also out of a sincere desire to be “the man I ought to be”. In times of pain and struggle, men need to hear from God how He feels about them and how He sees them. Listen to His words to you now in the following quotes and be encouraged by them:
“Righteousness guards the man of integrity.”(Proverbs 13:6)
“Let love and faithfulness never leave you;…write them on the tablet of your heart.”(Proverbs 3:3).
“If anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”(Philippians 4:8).
These encouragements from God are two-fold. As men, we are encouraged to pursue the things in life that really matter: upright living, faithfulness, integrity, things that deserve praise, and above all, love. In other words, He encourages us to shift our focus away from the things that are designed to drag us down and keep us in chains and to set our sights on higher things – things that will lift our spirits and our souls and ultimately, set us free.
God, for His part, promises that when we do this, we will be protected and that we will also grow into men who are respected and trusted by others.
Again, my friend’s song captures this idea in its closing section:
“So where’s the answer, who’s to blame.
Are we left out in the dark,
Do our soul’s cry out in vain
I hear His voice, hear Him calling me always…
And He says ‘Come, child, let me heal the wounds.’”
Freedom is a two way street. God shows us the path to freedom but He also commits Himself to our healing. “Do your part”, He says, “and I will certainly fulfill mine.” We enter into a partnership with the One who loves us and died for us, that we might truly be free. Are you looking for a fresh start this Father’s Day – for freedom? Then open your heart to the true God Who loves you and wants to partner with you in a journey that will bring you healing and freedom. Become the man you ought and want to be!
